On vacation, you get your way on travel destinations, daily itineraries, and
activities.
You do things that affect other people – e.g., arrive late, mess up the house – and are
basically unconcerned about how this affects them.
When the important people in your life become upset about your dominance and
demand more equality, this provokes anxiety in you.
If most of these items apply to you in a relationship, you can be sure you are the
‘alpha-dog’ in it. You like to get your way, at least in this relationship, and the thought
of giving in makes you anxious. The problem with this dynamic is that it is not
sustainable long-term. When people do not get what they want, they become angry,
anxious, and resentful.
If you persist in getting your way most of the time, this person will gradually
come to resent you. He or she may suppress it for months or even years, but eventually
it will surface in the following ways:
Lessening of passion, affection, and effort in the relationship
Overreactions to trivial situations
Irritability and crankiness towards you
Depression and fatigue that do not seem to have a cause
Addictions, particularly weight gain, smoking and drinking