If you are experiencing a painful break-up of any kind, my heart goes out to you. I
believe this is the most painful event you can experience—even more than the death of
this person, precisely because a break up is voluntary.
The second thing I want to say is, Please take heart. No matter what your situation,
there is always hope. Like you, I too went through a painful break-up that lasted four
years. However, using the principles in this eBook, I was able to “stop my divorce” and
am now happily married to the same person.
Why this is happening to you
One of the reasons a break-up is so painful is because we genuinely do not understand
why we are being rejected. I have seen this in every client I have worked with. No matter
how convinced you may be that you “understand” why you are being rejected, I can
guarantee that you do not grasp what is happening emotionally within your ex. Often,
even your lover or spouse does not completely understand why he or she is rejecting
you—and therefore cannot possibly communicate properly. In other cases, your ex does
know, and has tried for years to tell you want the problems are, but because you were
afraid or stubborn, you haven’t had real empathy for him or her.
Believe it or not, the purpose of a break-up is to evolve you as a person—whether you
want to evolve or not. Either a) this rejection is teaching you to be more self-reliant and
self-appreciative by asking you to move past this rejection b), or b) the rejection is
telling you that you must learn how to adjust better to a partner--or you will suffer
rejection again.
Even Hitler was loved
On April 28, 1945, Adolf Hitler married his long time mistress, Ava Braun. That same
night, Hitler tested out a cyanide pill on his pet dog, Blondi, because Soviet troops were
closing in on his underground bunker. Just two days later, on April 30, Hitler and Braun
went into a private room and took their own lives with the cyanide tablets. Braun could
have become rich by writing her memoirs, but she didn’t want to live without Hitler.
That there was a person who killed herself rather than be without Hitler shows
that no one is inherently unlovable. (I wish to stress that by no means do I
condone Hitler, undoubtedly the most evil person of the century).
I am merely pointing out that people do not gravitate towards you because of your
qualities, personality or character: they gravitate towards you based on how they
feel in your presence. This is why you can be madly in love with a person one day
and divorce the very same person five years later.
Successful relationships require competence
Years ago, a sports reporter accosted golf legend Jack Nicklaus and told him that
golf was primarily a game of luck, not skill. Jack said, “Yeah, and the funny thing
is, the more I practice, the luckier I get.”
Just like in business, wealth, and sports, your success in relationships will be
determined by your knowledge and skill in them. If you want to trigger love,
friendship, or attraction in another person, you can learn the principles of
successful relationships; and, if you follow them, people will give you the love,
respect, and appreciation you deserve. But if you violate them, people will avoid
you, no matter how attractive you are on paper.
This is exciting. It means that you never have to secretly fear that YOU are
unlovable. By learning these principles, you can be successful with anyone,
including the people you’ve failed with in the past.