I am not saying you should reject every person who is not perfectly evolved.
We are all a 'work in progress'. However, if you are being rejected by
someone who is scores low on most or all of these categories, I suggest you move on and
focus your energy on a person who has the potential for an excellent relationship.
5. Letting Go
My final tip for handing your inner game is for situations when you know a relationship
is destructive to you, but you still feel upset by the fact you are being rejected by this
person. Deep inside, you still want this person's love and
approval, and it confounds you, because you know you should let go of the relationship.
First, I want you to realize that your desire to win over this person is quite natural,
especially if you haven't succeeded yet. I've found that the less love you get from a
person, the harder it is to let go.
50
Basically, this is because letting go is tantamount to failure in our mind. To let go, we
must admit that we may never get the love and approval we want. This is tough.
Here are some practical ways to approach your inner game so you can heal yourself of
your feelings of failure, frustration, and sadness when you need to let go.
1. Trust your own mind.
All too often, when facing anger, disapproval, and rejection, we immediately assume
that the conflict is our fault. This assumption is usually unconscious and happens so
fast we don't even recognize it.
When dealing with rejection, you must review your behaviour objectively in your mind.
Were you empathic to the other person's feelings? Were you assertive when necessary?
Did you genuinely attempt to adapt to the other person and meet his or her needs? Did
you give the person space when he or she needed it? Or, were you selfish? Cold?
Defensive? Argumentative? Clingy? Did you avoid conflict instead of try to resolve it?
Were you deceitful or manipulative?
If your behaviour was excellent and you know it, it's time to stop assuming
that every time someone doesn't respond to you with affection, respect, or approval
that it's you're fault.
We are all a 'work in progress'. However, if you are being rejected by
someone who is scores low on most or all of these categories, I suggest you move on and
focus your energy on a person who has the potential for an excellent relationship.
5. Letting Go
My final tip for handing your inner game is for situations when you know a relationship
is destructive to you, but you still feel upset by the fact you are being rejected by this
person. Deep inside, you still want this person's love and
approval, and it confounds you, because you know you should let go of the relationship.
First, I want you to realize that your desire to win over this person is quite natural,
especially if you haven't succeeded yet. I've found that the less love you get from a
person, the harder it is to let go.
50
Basically, this is because letting go is tantamount to failure in our mind. To let go, we
must admit that we may never get the love and approval we want. This is tough.
Here are some practical ways to approach your inner game so you can heal yourself of
your feelings of failure, frustration, and sadness when you need to let go.
1. Trust your own mind.
All too often, when facing anger, disapproval, and rejection, we immediately assume
that the conflict is our fault. This assumption is usually unconscious and happens so
fast we don't even recognize it.
When dealing with rejection, you must review your behaviour objectively in your mind.
Were you empathic to the other person's feelings? Were you assertive when necessary?
Did you genuinely attempt to adapt to the other person and meet his or her needs? Did
you give the person space when he or she needed it? Or, were you selfish? Cold?
Defensive? Argumentative? Clingy? Did you avoid conflict instead of try to resolve it?
Were you deceitful or manipulative?
If your behaviour was excellent and you know it, it's time to stop assuming
that every time someone doesn't respond to you with affection, respect, or approval
that it's you're fault.